To Read If You’re Being Stalked
By Audrey Swartz, Adult Services and Readers’ Advisory Librarian
I fully intended to give y’all a read list full of great books as it’s getting into cozy season. Unfortunately, Kansas doesn’t seem to have gotten the cool down memo, and a soon-to-be not personal matter has been weighing on me heavily. There is never an easy way to start this conversation, so here I go: I have a stalker. Yes, it is being handled through the legal channels, and yes, I am safe. However, in dealing with all the emotions and behavior, I became really curious about what sort of materials our library has on hand. Not just works of fiction, but if we had anything in non-fiction that would be useful. I should know by now that the answer is always “yes, we do.” Below is a list of books that deal with either true stories of stalking or give well balanced advice on how to spot behaviors and avoid a situation developing. There are books that address the complexity of cyberstalking vs. in person. And there is one book that is just for fun because sometimes you need levity in hard situations.
Before I dive in, I want to thank the wonderful officers at the RCPD, who have been very nice, responsive, and understanding; our district court for giving one the ability to file for certain orders completely online; and the crisis center for following up with me. The hugest of gratitude to my library family and their ability to be flexible. Finally, much love goes out to my friends and family, who have been supporting me. Okay, now books!
“The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence” by Gavin de Becker
“De Becker has made a career of protecting people and predicting violent behavior. Covering all the dangerous situations people typically face–street crime, domestic abuse, violence in the workplace–de Becker provides real-life examples and offers specific advice on restraining orders, self-defense, and more. The key to self-protection, he demonstrates, is learning how to trust our own intuitions.”
“In His Sights: A True Story of Love and Obsession” by Kate Brennan
“Kate Brennan’s visceral memoir lays bare the mind of a stalker and shows how a smart, successful woman can fall prey to a warped and powerful man who has the money and connections to keep her under his watchful eye. Both frightening and insightful, ‘In His Sights’ is a gripping tale of one woman’s descent into the dark side of love and how she has fought–and still struggles–to free herself.”
“‘Stalking Mary’ is the true account of the kidnapping of Mary and Beth Stauffer, the thoughtless murder of a six-year-old boy named Jason Wilkman, and the psychosexual ploys of a dangerously deranged Shiue. Using court documents, video and audio transcriptions, personal interviews, and thousands of pages from Shiue’s own scripts, Eileen Bridgeman Biernat paints a harrowing picture of two families caught in the grip of a nightmare.”
“A Tangled Web: A Cyberstalker, a Deadly Obsession, and the Twisting Path to Justice” by Leslie Rule
“It appeared that Cari had dumped her new boyfriend, quit her job, and relinquished custody of her son to her mother–all by text. Her mother was alarmed and reported Cari missing. Police were skeptical of her claims. While her mother was afraid for Cari, Dave Kroupa was growing afraid of her, for he believed Cari was stalking him.”
“Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession” by Lisa A. Phillips
“The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned thirty, she fell in love with someone who didn’t return her feelings. She soon became obsessed. She followed him around, called him compulsively, and talked about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized.”
“We are all a moment away from having our life overtaken by somebody hell-bent on our destruction. ‘Nobody’s Victim’ invites readers to join Carrie on the front lines of the war against sexual violence and privacy violations as she fights for revenge porn and sextortion laws, uncovers major Title IX violations, and sues tech companies, schools, and powerful sexual predators.”
“‘Be Prepared’ is a great motto– but what does it mean in today’s constantly changing world? In an age of mass shootings, devastating natural disasters, and digital attacks, we yearn for some control. As a seasoned war correspondent, Matloff shares her tried-and-true methods to help you confidently handle whatever challenges come your way.”
If you or anybody you know is the victim of domestic violence, in any of its forms, I encourage you to reach out to The Crisis Center here in Manhattan at (785) 539-2785. If it is an emergency, please dial 911. If you feel you are in imminent danger or fear a threat of harm, please dial 911.
Manhattan Public Library is a cornerstone of free and equal access to a world of ideas and information for the Manhattan, Kansas, community. Manhattan Public Library serves more than 75,000 people in the Riley County area through curated book and other media collections, knowledgeable staff, relevant programming for all ages, and meeting space. Learn more at mhklibrary.org.
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Audrey Swartz, Adult Services and Readers’ Advisory Librarian